Thursday, April 24, 2003

blood to my feet

something really weird happened to me today. yes, besides the fact that i dreamt man utd won the match against real madrid but lost anyway and it came true.

i was reading this display on Jesus' death (it's easter week at sajc), about how he was flogged and tortured and left to die a slow, agonising death. just as i reached the end about how he was nailed on the wrists and his feet broken so he couldn't push himself up to relieve the pain, i felt the blood from my head just rush to my feet. my vision blurred and i felt so woozy...it was almost like something hit me right on the head. i think i would have possibly fainted if it were just a bit more, um, "severe".

naturally, i was freaked. the first thought that went to my head was...am i sick? i've been feeling faint and uncomfortable for the entire week...you know, feeling lack of energy and dizzy...that kind of thing. then, the next thing that went to my head ( i blame all those episodes of the x-files i've watched) was...did this have anything to do with the fact that i had just read a display on how Jesus suffered before he died?

i dunnola...i really dunno. it's just pretty freakish, no?

anyway, i have to make a 5-minute speech tomorrow in front of the entire house, which is made up of 7 classes. aargh! those who know me will know how nervous i get before i speak to people...especially in such formal conditions. the auditorium! using a microphone! and i have no clue whatsoever as to what to say! good gawd.

i really dunno what i'm getting myself into. me? house captain????

lishun at 8:58 PM

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Wednesday, April 23, 2003

house comm, here i come!!!

hey guess what? i'm one of the nominees for house captain! yay!

well, truth be told, i wanna be elected, but dun really wanna be elected...if you get my drift? i'm already in library, then i'm also in iota (gotta cover the track and field day on saturday) AND am now destined for at least a place in house comm. yeesh. HELP! i can only hope i won't die or something.

anyway, am a bit cranky now cuz i can't go back home for, not only holidays, but for my hari kecemerlangan! aargh! for all my 5 years in school, i've been striving for a place on the honour roll on hari kecemerlangan...and now that i've got it, i can't go for it! aargh!!!!!!

sigh.

am feeling rather sad at the mo. stupid sars. why of all years, this year? why couldn't it have happened, say, AFTER i've graduated and am working? huh? i don't get it!

oh man...screw my stupid new year's resolution to not whine anymore. i'm gonna whine all i want!!!!!!

lishun at 6:58 PM

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Saturday, April 19, 2003

liberation...space-wise!

know what? i have never felt so free.

i've just got a bookshelf!!! goodness...i'm so happy about it! actually, everyone in my room who got a bookshelf was ecstatic! for 3 months we were living in a room of small desks, small shelves, and small cupboards with a whole lotta stuff chucked into and onto them. in other words, it was a mess...for a really tidy room, that is. hey, my room is the neatest one, okay? =P

anyway, my vietnamese roommate dzung went out and got 4 bookshelves, one for each of us, including my new roomie regina (who's a senior). we spent about 1 1/2 hrs fixing up the shelf, which is rather long, but we were 4 girls who have probably never put together anything of this sort before in our lives! so, it was a rather great accomplishment.

still, nothing comes without tragedy, and two of us stepped on nails. li li had it worse cuz she stepped on not one, but two nails, and they went all the way into her heel. ouch. it was mainly my fault since those were my nails...i still feel terrible about it.

at least i have more space now! plus my room looks much more homey. aah...bliss!!! =))

this morning i went for a 2.4km jog. at the rate i'm going, i'm still gonna fail my napfa test next month. and this is only the 2.4km jog!!! i have about a minute to shave off! aargh! then there are sit-ups, inclined pull-ups, push-ups, some kind of jumping thing...haish. hell for an unfit person like me.

oh well...

i'm heading off to orchard with mun later in the afternoon. after my chinese orchestra meeting. i really think i'm overburdening myself.

gotta go...i have a date with my mathematical induction tutorial! ciaoz...=)

lishun at 7:21 PM

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Monday, April 14, 2003

lost and found

guess what? after i wrote my last entry, i stopped at the ladies' before heading off to the chinese orchestra meeting...and left my handphone at the toilet! when i realised it was missing 10 minutes later and ran to the toilet to retrieve it...it was gone. shucks. half of me knew it was gone, but the other half was still hopeful. well, the hopeful me went to the office to see if anyone dropped it off, but nope. li li was most supportive and lent me her phone to call and see if the person who took it would be stupid enough to answer but nope. after the third time i called, it went straight to voice message. looks like i've underestimated the intelligence of the person who's taken my phone. sigh.

by then, i was rather gloomy. actually i was wallowing in pathetic self-pity for about an hour before i decided it wasn't worth it. so, just made a report at the office and went back to the chinese orchestra meeting. the orchestra isn't too bad, really, once you ignore the fact that they were sometimes out of beat, out of tune and were rather lacking in expression. still, i give them an A for effort.

i would love to say that some kind soul actually returned my phone. well, living in this world, miracles don't happen twice.

if you dunno what i mean...well, last year i collected money for the brownies we were selling for english lit week and left the whole stash in my bag. it was promptly stolen. i was so upset about it the entire day that i almost cried and everyone was feeling sorry for me, yada yada, but i was feeling most sorry for myself. it's an annoying habit of mine to feel sorry for myself, but i'm working very hard to overcome it. after all, i didn't dwell in self-pity last saturday when i lost my phone, did i?

back to the story. in other words, i was just really upset. especially since the money really belongs to fiona's mother. so, the following day i brought my own dosh to pay for fiona's losses and, to my surprise, there was the amount of money i lost the previous day! the funniest thing was that i lost the cash in mostly RM5 notes while the money was returned to me in RM10 notes. hmm...who would think thieves had a guilty conscience?

still, like i said, if i had hoped for an encore, it was obviously not gonna happen. rather than be moody for the entire day, i suspended my sim card, smsed my dad for his friend's telephone number (my account is under his name), called my mum, and went back to the hostel feeling rather calm. in fact, people were telling me that i was too calm. i even played monopoly that night. my dad's friend called me, and we went out to get my new sim card and phone yesterday morning.

so, here i am, with a brand new phone and a pretty empty pocket. haish. luckily my allowance shall be banked in soon. i hope. or else i'll be eating chee cheong fun for lunch for the next 3 days!

anyway, this friday's good friday. yippee! a three-day weekend! and my quarantine ends this thursday too! talk about luck! hopefully i'll be able to forget about that $300 i spent on my new phone.

there you have it. the lesson of the week. never leave your handphone in the school toilet. =)

lishun at 6:52 PM

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Tuesday, April 08, 2003

the events of the day!

it was jpa interview day today. i didn't really know what to expect. well, to my relief it wasn't all that bad. at least i didn't lose my nerve or have dribble down my neck or (horror of horrors) go in with toilet paper stuck to my shoe. in fact, it was quite fun cuz i got to meet up with lots of people i've previously lost contact with...mostly my primary school pals. it was nice to see them again.

they told me some most shocking news tho. the entire asean second intake has been cancelled! drat. so much for having some freshies to bully. lol. kidding!

oh yeah, i met the top scorer of the country..."the 16As girl". she came into the taklimat room, and i thought, "why does tht girl look so familiar?" after the talk i went out to congratulate her and told her that my aunt's her teacher. she's a really soft-spoken girl...very sweet.

ah well. went back with waisun and my hostelmate yun le. stopped in kajang and had satay. now i have a sore throat. gosh, not a very good time to have a sore throat, is it? what with sars and all...

my parents dropped the three of us off at ou cuz waisun had to meet her source of transport home (her uncle) there. to our surprise, we bumped into ka vee...who was on his way to meet burhan! imagine our luck!

it was really pleasant to meet burhan again. i don't think he's changed one bit! twas a shame lela wasn't around. i'm quite sad that i can't meet her this time around. when i come back in june, i guess she'll be busy with her pre-u stuff. sigh.

well, i'm now at my aunt's place cuz my house has no electricity. on a perfectly sweltering day like this too! sheesh. shall be leaving tonight on the 10:30pm senandung malam express...sigh. somehow, i am getting more and more reluctant to leave this place with every time i return home. i've got a really heavy heart right now, and i wish i don't have to go back there anymore.

i guess those three weeks have done me much more harm than i've imagined...

lishun at 6:43 PM

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Monday, April 07, 2003

families now & then

if you're one of those people who love old sitcoms (bewitched, i dream of jeannie, family ties, cheers, etc), like me, you'd remember a certain tv show from the 70s revolving around a family consisting of a widow, a widower, and their 6 kids; 3 girls and 3 boys living in a charming suburbian home with their housekeeper alice. yes, i'm talking about the brady bunch.

the bradys were the perfect family. the kids had loving parents, the girls braided each others' hair (remember marsha?) and wore cute nighties, while the boys played baseball and helped marsha get a date for her school dance. aww...how sweet!

well, that was the 70s.

now, the families we see on television include the simpsons, the titus family (from the sitcom titus) and that horribly obscene family, the osbournes. what a long way the "conventional" family had come! like what christopher titus said in the pilot episode of titus (this is not an actual quote from the script), "60% of american families are dysfunctional. what do you know? mine's the majority!"

it's just funny how the family concept has evolved over the last 30 years. in the 70s, the bradys were the perfect role model family. now...sigh. let's just say that if we were to take the simpsons as a role model family, the world would be utter chaos.

still, no matter how "abnormal" and "unconventional" families are now today, people still remember the brady bunch and the keatons from family ties. why? i guess it's because we still like to have that picture of the ideal family in our heads eventhough we know it's impossible to achieve such love and harmony and cuteness that it makes you want to puke. we like to fantasise that maybe if everyone were like the bradys, we'd have no wars, and there'd be pro-peace rallies instead of anti-war demonstrations.

oh well. sing along with me now: "here's a story of a lovely lady..."

lishun at 9:52 AM

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Saturday, April 05, 2003

mortality reviewed

yep. jcs in singapore shall reopen on wednesday instead of monday.

whew! what a relief! looks like i shall go for the interview after all.

besides that, this morning my family went to my grandfather's grave for cheng beng. we left at a most ungodly hour (6am!) to avoid the horrible jams and reached there 1/2 hr later...only to find that it's still too dark to do anything. sheesh. so, we hung around until 6:40am while my cousin went to look for the grave using his handy torchlight. now, why is it that a 12-yr-old could think of a torchlight while anyone else couldn't? i really wonder...

once there, we went about our business clearing the grass, laying out the food, complaining about the vandals...you know, usual cheng beng stuff. we got everything done in about 1 1/2 hours, which is really fast considering we had to cut the grass and all ourselves, using just one pair of shears, two small parangs and two hoes. heh.

well, being there just made me think...i would definitely try to visit my grandfather's grave even when my parents, uncles and aunts are long gone, but after that...is anyone going to care? is my grandfather just going to be forgotten? will his grave be overgrown with grass so that even his tombstone is hidden?

most importantly...will all of us be resigned to that fate?

it just seems so sad. my mother told me this quite a long time ago, that when my grandmother comes to the end of her long, fullfilling life, our many family gatherings: winter festival, tien kong birthday, death anniversaries, some weird obscure taoist festival...will probably come to an end simply because we only have these gatherings because my grandmother is an old-fashioned taoist who actually bothers. once she leaves us for a better place, will the rest of us reluctant "followers" of my grandmother, bother too?

this greatly disturbed me, as i realised that it's inevitable. our little gatherings will soon cease to exist. we'll prob be those families that only meet up once a year: on chinese new year. soon we shall leave the grave of my grandfather abandoned and our old traditions forgotten.

lishun at 8:55 PM

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Friday, April 04, 2003

back to school

there shall be no extention of school "holidays", so looks like i'll be returning to eton hall (or "eton hell") on sunday. am a bit sad, although i'm not exactly enjoying these hols much, considering i already wasted my term hols by doing nothing, and now i've wasted yet another week. hooray. then there's the fact that the june break will be shortened. so much for my "extra" revision time.

i tried doing inequalities on wednesday, and i could hardly do any of the questions! this is just inequalities! i have a test coming up which involves inequalities, binomial and progression, plus tutorials on the sigma notation the moment i get back to school...and i can't even solve simple inequalities! good gawd...

i'm panicking, i am...*sob*

my laziness is killing me also. i saw this week as an opportunity to finally kill some worms for my stupid bio project but did i take it? noooooo. instead, what have i accomplished? besides faxing some important documents, doing maybe 8 math questions, of which none are complete, reading an agatha christie novel, starting on this blog, surfing worthless websites...nothing! i have accomplished nothing! i have that blasted bio project to do, plus research on how china's rise is gonna affect the singaporean economy, some letterings for the library teacher to design, some dumb plant experiment to type out, AND study!!! and i've done none!!!

i feel like such a loser. maybe i am one...a procrastinating loser who will be kicked out of singapore by the end of this year and who will forever not accomplish a single thing in her life!!!

lishun at 10:01 PM

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