Saturday, June 21, 2003

phoenix from hell

i really do not know where i get my ideas for my journal entries' titles from.

well, last day home. shall not be home till september. not even sure if i can make it back for september. do not want to even think about not seeing my family and friends till december...it's too painful. *feels a stab in the gut*

i almost spelled 'gut' as 'butt'. am a bit disturbed by that thought.

anyway, it's back to hell tomorrow. in case you didn't know, the nickname given to my hostel, eton hall, is eton hell. which makes it quite funny in school...cuz at the end of the day the scholars would look at each other and say things like, "you ready to go back to hell?" or "i guess we shall go back to hell now." or "i'm heading to hell...see you later." heh. corny, i know.

the place isn't too bad, really. the cooks have superb imagination when it comes to lunch: brown mee, brown meehoon, brown ee mein...if you're lucky you'll get yellow mee or white meehoon. cool colour coordination, no? the toilets have algae on the walls, though since the housemistress decided to paint them, their presence has lessened considerably. and that's just the ladies'. dun wanna think about the men's. urgh.

but yeah, i'll be heading back to eton hall tomorrow. sans my brand new harry potter book. i have yet to finish reading it and am now practising self-control against chucking the book into my bags because that will only result in me getting mediocre grades for my common test, which is the only test that can save me from termination, at the rate i'm going.

for the past week i have not touched any of my books. i've gone for a medical checkup, did loads and loads of bank-related stuff, completed all the jpa paperwork, got a haircut, watched a movie, eaten everything i miss about home except decent roti canai (i love being able to call it 'roti canai' and not 'roti prata', urgh), gone out with my dearest and closest friends...but i have not done any studying whatsoever. so much for lugging my notes and tys books back.

which means i'll have to strip myself of all pleasure for the next week if i want to emerge from the common test alive. it's a bit as if i'm like a phoenix, diving into hell so that i can come out of the embers renewed and refreshed. once i am done shrivelling up and dying in agony, i shall be reborn as a brand new phoenix...free to do whatever she pleases. =)

okay, that was a lame attempt at descriptive writing. soz.

i guess that's about it. i've packed my bags, i'm ready to go. well, the last bit's not true, but at least i've packed my bags. am becoming more and more reluctant to go back "there" with every trip home. is this what the flow-thrus were talking about? progressive homesickness? very soon, i may have to join the ranks of those who complain about missing home every day. somehow, that thought no longer disgusts me.

maybe i'm just not as strong as i like to think i am.

before i go...this is for everyone who made my return so enjoyable. i love you. keep in touch. =*)

lishun at 10:04 PM

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Friday, June 20, 2003

lishun's diary: final installment

okay...i'm beginning to wish i never started this. but heck. last installment, people, before i revert back to my boring details on my darling life. heh. =P

"a new month, with new priorities and concerns. first of all, the studying scene is really bad, with hardly any signs of activity. this matter must be looked into immediately or else i shall face the ultimate, most terrible consequences. note: MAKE STUDY TIMETABLE!!!"

analysis: so...what else is new? =P

"after the prefects' meeting, some f2s were outside collecting signatures for a petition against the new canteen operators. i signed and promptly left for the canteen. mei leng soon followed suit and she told me, while laughing, that when i left, she overheard the f2s saying, 'wow, lishun signed our petition! that's like having the prime minister on your side!'"

analysis: the canteen never changed. so much for being the "prime minister", huh?

"anyway, jeff was a junkie in my dream. a pretty cute junkie too! he turned to drugs when his sis' bf, who was a dealer, got him into it. jeff was so high, he messed up his spm. what a nightmare!"

analysis: why do i have all these weird weird dreams? why??? and jon...does jeffrey even HAVE an older sis? why do i have these dreams???????

anyway, that's all for now. looking back at my past entries, they're all so totally boring. can't believe i'm such a boring person. plus reading all those blogs from www.mycen.com.my made me realise that there's definitely more to write about than me being depressed about everything under the sun, whining about not being heard, yada yada.

still, don't think i'll change much. an 18-yr-old can only be that much more interesting than a 15-yr-old.

hope you enjoyed taking a glimpse into my world of stupidly weird dreams and whingy comments. adious.

lishun at 9:40 AM

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Wednesday, June 18, 2003

lishun's diary

was reading bridget jones's diary for the past two days. fab book. killer humour. poor lass.

i was also flipping through my own diaries, including this "free for all to see" one on the web, and realised that mine aren't much different from the one written by ms jones.

it's all whine whine whine, sob sob, life sucks, being happy at others' misfortunes (hey, don't tell me YOU'VE never felt that way!), drooling over the wrong guys, crying over the right ones that don't give a damn about you, suppressing the urge to go snaffle that choc doughnut...you get the idea.

a bit whingy. fine, very whingy. but, come on! who can tell me that your own journal (if you keep one) isn't as whingy as mine? that you constantly write profound thoughts and reflections over the day's activities? oh puh-lease.

it was quite amusing though, to read through some of my older entries. anyone want a peek? here's some random thoughts from my diary as a 15-year-old.

"right now i'm thinking about how ugly my hair is and how i'm gonna be able to face everyone in school tomorrow. i'm writing this on the bed, right in front of the mirror. just found out that this is not a very good & comfy position to to write either! my hand's aching! oww...

surprisingly i've been able to not think about c* c* for the whole day. well, until now, that is! mebbe i should stick his pic in here..."

analysis: the hair thing has never changed. i tell you, one day i'll get so sick of it i'll just shave it all off. maybe it'll grow back straight. hmm. and if you're wondering who c* c* is, du-rians would know. he's two years my senior, really cute, and really vain. stupid crush la. more like...ooh, lookie! cute guy! *drool* lol. and yeah, i did stick his pic in my diary. am looking at it now. *sigh* next!

"i had a dream about s club 7 & samantha mumba in it last nite. bradley was chatting me up! then the group asked me where sm was from and i told them she's irish. weird."

analysis: rrrrrrighttttttt...

"i realised that, so far, every time we go out with the guys, it's the girls who take the initiative to invite them! never once have they asked us to go out with them just as friends. mebbe cuz they're still immature."

analysis: the phrase "...go out with them just as friends" puzzles me. but yeah, that hasn't changed. not much anyway. hear hear! =P

i'm revealing too much. it's a shame i can't put in anything thing else cuz it's my diary, after all, and i can't reveal everything! hehe. i'll prob add some stuff from my form 4 year next entry.

stay tuned!

btw...got tangguhan approved. shall be in spore till next year. dunno whether i should be happy or sad. sigh. dun wanna go back to spore! dun wanna go taylors either! but dun wanna go back to spore! *sniff* i miss everyone too much. sigh. two more days here before i return to hell.

lishun at 9:44 PM

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Monday, June 16, 2003

it only takes one

t only takes one person and one word to make or break my day. and it sucks. what makes it worse is that it looks like i'll be dealing with that one person and that one word for quite a while.

unless i get knocked unconscious, wake up with amnesia and not know anything that has happened since the age of 14. that sounds pretty good, really, considering form 2 was one of the worst years i've had in secondary school. the only good thing about that year was that i forged friendships with people whom i can call my only true friends now.

but i digress.

so yeah...one person can make or break my day. it bothers me that no matter how "strong" i claim to be, i just that this one achilles heel.

it only takes one person, and that one word muttered to totally kill my mood. gawd...i hate this kind of weakness!

lishun at 7:56 PM

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Wednesday, June 04, 2003

scholars and scholarships

hi everyone. sorry for the delay. have been...i'll be honest, lazy. =P

anyway, my last weekend was really fun mainly cuz i didn't do a single bit of studying. at all. borrowed a laptop on friday, typed two articles over the weekend (one's for a competition), played games on sat morning (heh) and basically slacked for 3 days.

two of the ex-directs came for a visit during the weekend. edwina came over on sunday, without telling anyone but edward (doink) and we all went out for dinner after requesting for a little extention of curfew and actually managed to find seats together at a super crowded ikea.

i don't think we're gonna attempt mass dinners at ikea on sunday evenings anymore.

but it was fun, it was fun. edward was in a really good mood (duh, obviously) and treated everyone our fave mcds icecream. i passed...was way too full. =P

the next day wei li popped over, and just so happened we had a half day thanks to the cricket guys. first gold in sajc history! woohoo! you guys rock! =) so anyway, we spent the afternoon yakking away at the corridors (like we had no other place to sit) basically just catching up.

since wei li had to go off by that evening, we had dinner at a quaint little rooftop restaurant and the food was soooooo good! really. i shared a spinach ravioli with my roomie li li and although there were only 5 raviolis...we were stuffed. okay, fine, some people gave us their pizzas, but yeah, we were stuffed! the price was very "nice" too...the bill totalled more than S$200. whoa. luckily our dear ms wong was there, not to foot the bill, but she got us a discount, so yeah, we saved serious dough. =)

oh yeah, we got the two eds to pose for a delightful "couple" pic. all together now..."aww...so cute!"

there was other happy news too. way siong and pui li both got the jpa scholarship. i think we'll be saying goodbye to them soon. me, i got it too, but i guess i'll prob stay here for a-levels, as much as the seniors keep telling me to "get out of hell!" muahahahaha. i'm pretty settled here. not too keen on going to a new college. will have to see my parents' opinions too though.

congrats also to june and jon. =) we all applied for the same thing right? can you imagine if we end up in the same uni? good gracious. =P

that's it really. i have loads more stuff to tell you, but it's the same old things that interest me and probably bore the hell out of you. hehehe.

good luck to everyone doing their AS these two weeks. and remember...VISIT ME DURING UR HOLS!!! i mean it. the grand sale is like...super chun bargains.

i can't wait for this saturday. =P

lishun at 10:00 PM

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