Wednesday, December 31, 2003

2003 archive

December 2003
28 Dec 2003 - new year's resolutions
26 Dec 2003 - restless in kl
24 Dec 2003 - scrooge
21 Dec 2003 - the wish list
19 Dec 2003 - resolutions resolved?
17 Dec 2003 - moving day
15 Dec 2003 - journals
11 Dec 2003 - my favourite things
08 Dec 2003 - myths about...girl guides
04 Dec 2003 - to you, i leave...
01 Dec 2003 - corny poetry

November 2003
28 Nov 2003 - new template!
24 Nov 2003 - it scares me
11 Nov 2003 - gruesome scenes

October 2003
27 Oct 2003 - helluva weekend
21 Oct 2003 - blessed
17 Oct 2003 - i have never cried
14 Oct 2003 - lessons learnt
09 Oct 2003 - freedom '03

September 2003
27 Sep 2003 - recent...(part 2)
16 Sep 2003 - mistaken identity
12 Sep 2003 - tagboard
10 Sep 2003 - the not-so-secret diaries
08 Sep 2003 - my fears
02 Sep 2003 - early mornin'

August 2003
25 Aug 2003 - it's only words
21 Aug 2003 - all hail the poet!
12 Aug 2003 - being rash
08 Aug 2003 - i've got a fever! i'm hot! i can't be stopped...
04 Aug 2003 - let's dance!
01 Aug 2003 - things can only get better

July 2003
30 Jul 2003 - busy bee
23 Jul 2003 - to be called a disgrace
18 Jul 2003 - the 26th students' council commendation
14 Jul 2003 - if i swore...
10 Jul 2003 - taking risks
09 Jul 2003 - As and Bs and stupidity
04 Jul 2003 - blogs galore!
03 Jul 2003 - urgh

June 2003
28 Jun 2003 - recent...
24 Jun 2003 - tired of studying
23 Jun 2003 - harry potter and the anticlimax
21 Jun 2003 - phoenix from hell
20 Jun 2003 - lishun's diary: final installment
19 Jun 2003 - lishun's diary: 2nd installment
18 Jun 2003 - lishun's diary
16 Jun 2003 - it only takes one
07 Jun 2003 - fate/destiny?
04 Jun 2003 - scholars and scholarships

May 2003
24 May 2003 - being judged
19 May 2003 - how embarrassing!
16 May 2003 - choleric vs agony aunt?
10 May 2003 - when the world is against you
07 May 2003 - a long long time ago...

April 2003
24 Apr 2003 - blood to my feet
23 Apr 2003 - house comm, here i come!!!
19 Apr 2003 - liberaton...space-wise!
17 Apr 2003 - system overload!!!
14 Apr 2003 - lost and found
12 Apr 2003 - isolated
08 Apr 2003 - the events of the day!
07 Apr 2003 - families - now & then
05 Apr 2003 - mortality reviewed
04 Apr 2003 - quizzes galore!
04 Apr 2003 - back to school
03 Apr 2003 - another one bites the dust
01 Apr 2003 - tragedy!
01 Apr 2003 - bubur jagung

March 2003
30 Mar 2003 - ou mutilated
29 Mar 2003 - nice corny love songs
28 Mar 2003 - speak up
27 Mar 2003 - sars!!! aargh!!!
26 Mar 2003 - tubed!

2004 >>

lishun at 11:31 AM

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Friday, December 26, 2003

restless in kl

i am friggin' restless. i constantly feel like ripping my hair out and kicking everything in sight. i can't sleep because my heart is pounding uncontrollably. i can't breathe because it feels as though something is choking me.

i know why i am feeling like this. the train that will take me back to singapore leaves at 9:50pm on sunday, 28th december. i will be on my way back down south in less than 48 hours. back to the place where i least want to be right now.

this afternoon, as i lay on my bed - a restless spirit in a tired soul - unable to sleep, i asked God to take me from this earth right now. take me away, leave the empty shell of my body...anything to escape the torture i am going through at the moment.

that request scared me, and i thought how could i have ever made it in the first place. after all, the very thing causing this restlessness is the fear of being far away from my family. so how could i have thought about leaving them forever?

i am so troubled by this trip back to singapore. i really wish i knew exactly why.

sigh.

am a little bit consoled by the fact that man utd did go top before christmas, and now that chelsea crashed out to charlton, man utd can stay top provided they kill off everton.

seems rather inappropriate to bring in football, but somehow at the moment of typing, it made complete sense.

aargh...i need to get this horrid feeling out of my system!

lishun at 11:16 PM

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Wednesday, December 17, 2003

moving day

just got an email from moe singapore. they're shifting all the eton hellers to a new hostel: the chinese high school boarding. it's a gorge new change from eton hall: the hostel boasts hotel-like facilities, better food, apparently better study environment...but i hate change, and moving, in the words of a friend, "really sux".

it almost made me cry. before i came home for the holidays, we were concerned about changing rooms. now, we're shifting to a new hostel altogether! although the prospect of perhaps having a 2-to-a-room room next year is rather appealling, the idea of having to make a 30min bus journey to and from college - a journey which will cost S$1.80 a day - is rather, well, not appealling.

sorry, my vocab is down for the moment. am a little upset.

i know i'm mostly unhappy about having to change, get out of my comfort zone - an attitude that is not gonna help much in the future - but who can blame me? we're used to the less-than-perfect toilets, the communal showers, the unpredictable combo of dishes at dinner. we're used to the lovely laundry ladies, uncle ismail the security guard, our housemistresses who (despite being a mite strict) are in the end rather lenient on us. we're used to the freedom, the two bus stops, ikea, mcds, saint andrew's junior college a mere 15min walk away.

we like eton hall, whether we know it or not.

i know there's probably some scholars who do not share my sentiments, but there's probably alot more who do.

eton hall: one year in that drabby place and already it's a sentimental place to me. it's the hostel where i spent my first year away from home, the hostel where i met the most fab hostel mates anyone can hope for, the place where we would talk about stupid things during dinner, where we were forced to be confined in for a week during the sars period, where we "sabo-ed" many a birthday girl or boy, where we had walks to our beloved valley, where we cried when some of our friends decided to pursue their studies back home, where we had a mad water fight...

basically it was the place where many a pleasant memory came from...

i may talk about putting in a small protest letter, but i know from experience that putting hope in matters dealt by moe is futile. there, nothing can be discussed. what they say is the final word.

so i guess that's it then. farewell eton hall, hello chinese high.

better living conditions at the cost of cherished memories.

lishun at 2:29 PM

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Monday, December 08, 2003

myths about...girl guides

this is the start of a number-not-determined-part series of "myths about..." by yours truly. i was, err, "inspired" to do this after digging out an old old article i meant to submit to the 73rd petaling troop newsletter a long long time ago. yih wen asked me to write a piece about guides, and i did. only i never really submitted it. heh. so much for my one-page moment of fame.

anyway, here it is...and as you're reading this, remember i wrote this about 2 years ago. it's unpolished, and exactly the way i wrote it. 2 years ago. as a very dumb 16-yr-old. so be nice when giving comments. heh. =P

The Truth About Guides

As everyone reading this knows, Guides and Scouts go back a long, long way. We're both founded by the same guy, we act on the same principles, laws and mottos and we basically do the same things. In other words, Guides is a female version of Scouts, and no less. Therefore, it is to my great annoyance that Guides are viewed as the weaker ones, the ones that do nought but sit around, be pretty and *shock horror* think up schemes to "menjerat" good-looking Scouts at gatherings and campfires. So, I would just like to clear up some myths and "legends" on the Guides; particularly the Guides and Rangers of SMK Damansara Utama.

Myth 1: Guides only know how to sing.

Well, excuuuuuuse me? Don't you lot sing as well? Louder too! Besides, you've seen us do other stuff like go hiking, practice stalking our seniors (hehehe) and doing a spot of "luxury" backwoods cooking, no? Heck, who cares if we use pots and pans - at least we KNOW how to start fires, keep 'em going and how to put them out. It's my guess that if we all participated in Survivor Thailand, Guides would survive just as well as anyone else. Plus we'd kick Clay's ass. Heh.

Myth 2: Guides are wimpy "puteri lilin"s.

In our defence, I would just like to say that the sun is as cruel to us as it is to anyone else. And, unless you love baking under its unforgiving rays, the most sensible thing to do is get out of the sun. The thing that annoys me most is that just because we try to avoid marching and doing stuff under the sun, we're labelled as sissies. From what I know, most of us are yearning to get down and dirty with proper activities, but we've never had the chance due to the horrible stereotyping of girls in our society. I'm sure even the female Scouts are not spared from the whole 'oh no girls should be at home knitting instead of out in the jungle' situation, no?

Myth 3: Guides are too "lembik" to go camping.

We are victims of this phenomenon called stereotyping. So much so that all of us can spell stereotyping. Can ALL Scouts spell "stereotyping"? Lemme spell it for you. S-T-E-R-E-O-T-Y-P-I-N-G. Besides, most of us have gone for other camps (prefects, societies, with friends) and it's been proven that we have the ability to rough it out when the need arises. When the need isn't there, who wouldn't wanna keep their nails clean? Broken nails can cause infection too!

Myth 4: Guides go to campfires with the sole purpose of snagging THAT cute Klang Sea Scout (*swoon*)

Not true. Absolutely not true. We go to campfires for the same purpose as the Scouts do, which is to get to know Scouts and Guides from other schools and to forge better relationships between the various troops/coys/units. Wait, do Scouts even go to campfires for that reason? Or is it really those luscious Guides from Sri Aman, eh? Dun lie lahhhhhhhhhhh. *wink*

Myth 5: Guides can't do diagonal lashings.

I really do not know where this rumour originated from. Oi. We DO do diagonal lashings, ooooooook? Worse come to worse we do what some Scouts do: a square lashing and then 'bengkokkan' the two pieces of bakau/bamboo to a diagonal cross. Oh c'mon, you're NOT denying it, are you??? Plus have you seen our miniature satay stick gadgets? They're very neatly done! And they bring a whole new meaning to 'The Strength Of String'. Lol.

Satisfied? I have a whole lot more of where those came from, but I don't wanna make anyone feel more sorry for having such wrong impressions of the Guides. Like I said earlier, at the end of the day, Guides are just female versions of the Scouts. I'll bet we're no less better than the female Scouts. It's very easy for us to say that we're prevented from doing a lot of things simply because we're an all-girls uniform body, and that we are not to blame for our lack of activities, but it's really the sad, harsh truth. Still, we try our very best to live up to our standards and trust me, our standards aren't any lower than the Scouts'. After all, we're just the same: a bunch of teens looking to learn new things, meet new friends, and perhaps better ourselves through various exercises.

So here's to better Scouts-Guides relationships!

*comments welcome. please be kind. haha. anyway, me wanna recommend more songs to download illegally and risk arrest. =P

Thicke - Brand New Jones
Josh Groban - Broken Vow
Josh Groban - You Raise Me Up
Remy Shand - Take A Message
Remy Shand - The Way I Feel
The All-American Rejects - Swing Swing
Ricky Martin - Vuelve
Blue feat. Stevie Wonder and Angie Stone - Signed, Sealed, Delivered

lishun at 8:50 PM

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Thursday, December 04, 2003

to you, i leave...

i don't know what's wrong with me. i've been writing entries, only to delete them afterwards. not sure if any of you have seen these "limited edition" entries, but yeah...writing and deleting them. i really do not know what's wrong with me.

well, as you all know, i've been idling my time away here. it's a fantastic feeling to not have anything important to do. well, there's my gp essay, sat studying, some library stuff to work on, chemistry assignment, organic chem test to study for...but, like i said, nothing important. hehe.

during my time of "wu liao"-ness, i read *shock horror* a SVH book. i know, i know, absolutely juvenile. eventhough the twins are 18 (like me!), i find it terribly difficult to relate to them. like i'm so old. urgh.

anyway, they have this senior year will thing that seems rather fun. hmm...so, let's say i'm boy-crazy, 5'7" and weigh less than 60kg (hah! dream on!)...this is what my senior will would probably look like...

lishun's senior will

to wai yee, i leave arguments about guides, walks home from school and non-existent emails.

to fiona, posing sessions in the bilik wawasan

to jeyarine, "scared, potter?"

to jia en and charlene, i wish i could leave you two "green" but sorry girls, he's not mine to give. *wink*

to jon, i leave my "photocopied" biology amali book and bunny ears at mr gurmit (what happened to that photograph btw?)

to mun, my white hair

to sun, long griping sessions about *dot dot dot*, grammar class and korean tv dramas

to june, i leave a stress ball, teary sleepovers and my eternal friendship

i dunno...do american teenagers leaving high school really do these things?

lishun at 9:50 AM

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Monday, December 01, 2003

corny poetry

i dug through some of my old poetry today, and found two that i felt were decent enough to showcase and not make a fool out of myself. they're still pretty corny though...so don't say i didn't warn you!

first one's called "pierrette". i was rather obsessed with the legend of pierrot and pierrette after listening to a song from my fave musical, "the boyfriend". you know, the whole lovesick teenage girl thing, yada yada. the whole concept of hiding behind a mask really spoke to me at the time as i was still finding myself. i'm more comfortable in my skin now, but this poem, together with another personal favourite "the carnival mask", meant alot to me at the time.

Pierrette

Destined to live a life of deceit
Forced to never show her tears
She has to hide her pain
And join in with the cheers
She has to wear that smile forever
To be happy for eternity
But I knew that she was suffering
When she looked at me
Her eyes were misty as she laughed
They reflected her hidden sorrow
My heart ached when I thought of how
She'll go through this again tomorrow
How I know what you feel! My sweet Pierrette
As you try to stifle a sigh
Though a smile is painted on your face
Your eyes will never lie

this next poem was inspired by, who else, aragorn and arwen, the star-crossed lovers in tolkein's lord of the rings. i meant it to be much longer, complete with how the hero goes out and fights a gallant battle to save the "immortal maiden" from the forces of evil, or something along that line of corniness. hehe. here's "two souls".

Two Souls

Two souls living in two separate bodies
Bound together by the promise of the sun
Neither one knowing the other's existence
Not aware that their fate had already been done

Two souls growing in two separate lives
Both so different yet not too diverse
One a human, doomed to die
Immortality is the other's curse

Two souls meeting for the very first time
Under the old enchanted ash tree
The sun speaks its promise, true and strong
"No longer separate you shall be"

Two souls facing their own destiny
Two voices reciting a single oath
The immortal maiden chooses to die
A sacrifice of love and faith in them both

i hope i never lose my passion for poetry, even if it's corny rhymed verses. never liked free verse much anyway. but yeah, i hope i don't lose the touch.

keep your fingers crossed!

maybe on second thought...don't. heh. =P comments welcome!

lishun at 10:13 PM

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