lishun's musings

Monday, July 31, 2006

the chinese widow

a long time ago, a woman stood by the ocean waiting for her husband to come home. she didn't know that she was no longer a wife, but a widow, as her beloved had perished at sea months before. however, she still waited in the kind of faith only ignorance can bring. as time passed, her body turned to stone and she became a mountain known as "cina balu" or chinese widow.

doesn't the name sound familiar, now?

---

mt.kinabalu, as seen from the taxi on our way up to mesilau nature resort.

the chinese widow in all her dark glory.

home - for the first night at least.

before the most treacherous hike of my life

raring to go, right before the climb [ l-r: markus, me, woan fung, june ]

living on the edge of a waterfall.

that, ladies and gents, is a flush toilet. really.

after 8hrs in the cold, wet jungle, a cup of tea is worth more than gold

a downpour, a welcome ray of light, a wonder

God serves up a treat at sunset

the compulsory camwhoring pic

---

tomorrow: the pathetic few pics i took at the peak. markus! june! woan fung! i want pics!!!

lishun at 9:40 AM

Sunday, July 30, 2006

meme&ramble

we interrupt your regular programming of "lishun's musings" to bring you a meme. because lishun hasn't done one in a long time. and because markus tagged her. righto.

awesome people i would wanna meet
1. ryan giggs. he's my childhood hero.
2. ewan mcgregor. cuz he's hawt. *goes into bimbo mode*
3. nelson mandela. for obvious reasons.
4. oprah winfrey. i watch her show (almost) religiously. love her.
5. lisa ling. she's an inspirational journalist. i wanna grow up to be like her.

things i can't live without
1. oxygen
2. water
3. nutrition
...ok fine that was lame. scrap that.
1. literature
2. music
3. good conversation
4. football
5. my handphone (i know, it's kinda sad)

i wish i could
1. travel the world before i start working
2. be more empathetic
3. foresee the future
4. make sure my loved ones live forever
5. eliminate war

i want
1. freedom for everyone
2. to be less of a sheltered brat and more of a mature person-of-the-world
3. education for all
4. to change at least one person's life
5. happiness

songs that i think are awesome
- this list is inexhaustible. there are just too many awesome songs out there. it's impossible to choose just 5. it'd be an injustice for all the other songs! so, as an advocate for equality among songs, i shall refrain from completing this list.

how i see myself in 10 years
still studying, still learning, still committed to being the best doctor i can be

random facts
1. i watch american chopper and love every minute of it
2. i hate being seen as "one of the guys"
3. i wore a tie every day in school from age 11-19
4. my favourite breed of dog is the golden laborador
5. calluses are the bane of my life

misconceptions
just one: that i have no feelings for anyone to hurt

as usual, i'm not gonna tag anyone. =)

---

just a little ramble here.

i absolutely loathe it when guys dish out dirty comments and jokes or talk about sexual conquests in front of me. i hate it even more when there are vulgarities involved. i don't understand why some men think it's impressive to display how much you like to ridicule the reproductive system of the human body and attach some swear words in the process. especially in the company of women.

get it straight. it is not freaking impressive. it's downright repulsive and offensive. it shows how disrespectful you are towards women.

i'm perfectly alright if you save those conversations with your boys, but please...don't swear and swagger in front of girls, even if it's girls you don't fancy and have no intention to impress.

we don't appreciate it. so don't do it.

lishun at 4:07 PM

Saturday, July 29, 2006

summarising mt.k

there are some friends that you're genuinely happy to have because they never cease to challenge you and make you want to be a better person, take risks and experience new things.

it was a good friend, exactly that type of good friend, who persuaded me to do the 10km last year. although she ditched me after 500m to pursue a top 100 placing (which she deservedly got), it was enough to drive me to want to train and shave time off the half marathon this year. she was the same person who persuaded me to take up the challenge of conquering all 4100m of mount kinabalu. i have to say that there would be no other way i could have really gotten my butt off my nice comfy chair here and undergone the treacherous climb.

a different friend once psychoanalyzed me and said that the only real reason i chose to pursue medical studies is because my other option, journalism, is "easy" compared to 5 years of honing the right skills to literally touch people. the way i see it, journalism is just as hard as any other profession. after all the difficulty lies not in the number of years needed to perfect a skill...the difficulty lies in simply perfecting it. period.

anyway, i guess the main thing my friends were both getting at is that i enjoy the challenge that comes attached with the many things i do and i agree with them. i love being pushed to do better and there is a sort of sadistic joy in doing things that are difficult.

having said that, i didn't really enjoy finally conquering the pseudo-highest peak in southeast asia. it was possibly the hardest physical thing i have ever done in my entire life and, unlike the 10km run, i am in no hurry whatsoever to repeat that feat.

of course, the scenery was gorgeous. if i ever thought that i had no affection for tall pieces of rock, i was wrong. the dark slabs of rock that rose above me were breathtaking and when i found myself clamouring down the same pieces of stone i awed at from the foot of the mountain the day before, it felt nothing less than exhillarating. the plants were amazing and whatever little bits of wildlife i saw was fabulous. it was great to know that the entire area is a national park, a national heritage site that will hopefully remain green and beautiful forever.

i just didn't feel the pain that came from it all was worth it.

the story of the entire trip would be way too long and boring to fit into one entry so i guess i'll just summarise it. we took the mesilau trail which was 8km long. the climb to the summit was about 2km in distance and we took on that final bit of the journey at around 2am, after a fitful night's sleep. the descent took a total of 7 hours from the peak to timpohon gate and was possibly the most excruciating 8km of my life.

unpleasant. very unpleasant indeed.

at the end of the day i'm kinda glad i attempted the climb and successfully went up and down without breaking anything other than my reputation for sticking things out without much emotion. i was a blubbering pathetic little thing for the ascent and was wincing with every step as we approached timpohon gate, unable to progress for most of the journey without the guide's reassuring grip on my hands.

what redeems the experience for me is the fact that i can tell people i made it up mount kinabalu. nevermind that regular mountaineers know that even gunung tahan, the highest peak in the peninsular, is a tougher conquest. the important thing is that eventhough i didn't exactly do it in the most glorious manner...

...i freaking pwned mount kinabalu, man! woohoo!

---

*note: thank you june, for being exactly that kind of friend. thank you markus, for being so patient and waiting for me when i couldn't catch up. thank you fung, for completing the party and for your delightful company. i did have a pretty good time, though am resentful i was the only one who came down with a fever and the runs after the trip. lol. send pics, ya?

lishun at 5:46 PM

charismatism

so.

i was driving along one day, happily listening to the ads on the radio (the one about the vios nightmare is pretty good) when i heard an ad about the miss malaysia/world pageant that was just held last night. the ad featured one of the contestants (i sure hope not adeline choo) talking about what she thought a true woman is like.

"a real woman is someone with charismatism..."

wait a sec. charismatism? charisma...tism?

there i was, thanking God that people are beginning to value brains over beauty in this modern age of technology and whatnot, and this beautiful and (supposedly) intelligent woman who could potentially represent malaysia at the miss world pageant went ahead and said something as atrocious as...charismatism.

and i thought the brats' joke of "confusement" was atrocious enough. at least that was intentional and done only in the presence of people who knew that there is no such thing as confusement. our dear miss malaysia/world contestant did it on radio, without the slightest idea that she made a huge boo-boo that would undoubtedly make the queen cry. the queen of england, that is, although i'm sure even the queen of malaysia is real enough of a woman herself to know that she has charisma and not charismatism.

anyway am rambling. will post pics and accounts of my treacherous journey up and down mt.kinabalu pretty soon and will probably blog about my week at that God-forsaken place called kuala kubu baru as well. am currently just too happy over the fact that i no longer need to be in the toilet every 20mins and am back in civilisation once more.

lishun at 10:22 AM

Friday, July 21, 2006

rain...

...on the way to lcct klia

...when maneuvering the winding road to mesilau nature park

...on the night before the climb up to laban rata

...while i struggled up the 8.2km hike

...just when i was getting ready to go to my lodging at laban rata

...for a couple of hours during the long, cold night at panar laban

...at exactly 2am when we were about to start the ascent to low's peak

...all the way to sayap-sayap where, finally to our relief, it stopped

...on the treacherous way down to timpohon gate

...when we got to kota kinabalu

...greeted us when we woke up the next day, hence ruining plans to go to manukan

...when i was dropped off at the lcct by my kind junior, to catch the flight home

---

...and the ironic thing is that now i'm freaking dehydrated

crap

---

*note: your regular programming of "lishun's musings" will return once she recovers from the bacterial infection that is raging through her gastrointestinal system at the moment. she's runnin' a fever and havin' the runs, but she'll be back! stay tuned.

lishun at 10:17 AM

Saturday, July 15, 2006

mountainous challenge

i've heard stories of slow climbers getting lost there.

the mist moves in, the air is thin and before you know it, you're out of shouting range.

it's a good 3km upwards - a climb that will make a 10km run feel like a walk in the park.

i have no training and have not done my every-other-day jog for about 2 weeks now.

not even sure if i can be counted as "young and relatively fit".

3 days and counting.

let's hope you'll see me back here by next thursday. eep.

---

*note: sorry for the lack of updates. lots of things going on, lots of crazy friends who expect crazy things from me (and i haven't let them down - must be all that pent-up craziness over the last year of being a "responsible adult") and lots of problems to sort out despite how petty some of them really are. it's the heat, i tell ya.

lishun at 5:31 PM

Wednesday, July 12, 2006

...for your loss

i'm sorry...

lishun at 8:37 PM

Sunday, July 09, 2006

not ready for posh

as part of the "grass is greener syndrome" we are all bound to suffer from one time or another, i, as a medical student who deals with nothing but science on a daily basis, absolutely adore the idea of being arty farty.

i mean, i already like writing. literature is something i love. i can live without my *shockhorror* football - i survived an entire year in singapore sans football, although i have to admit to listening to live commentaries on bbc world once in a while - but i cannot function without a good book to at least look forward to.

i also love music. my friends and i were just discussing the types of music we like and they were surprised at how diverse my taste in music is. i can't even describe it. whatever sounds good to me is good, even if it means i like both duran duran's "union of the snake" and beethoven's "pathetique sonata".

however, one thing that bothers me about the art community is how elite it all seems. the art scene in malaysia is promoted as something only the rich can enjoy and the educated can appreciate. it makes me feel as if i have to have something intelligent to say about music or art or literature in order for me to be qualified to enter a jazz bar, art gallery or read a booker prize-winning novel.

last night, a couple of friends and i went off to no black tie for the first time for a performance by the irene soliano & salvador guerzo all-star band.

i have never heard of the name "soliano". i usually listen to jazz when i feel like i've had enough of my chemical romance telling me how they're really not ok (trust me). the first song the band performed was "maz ques nada", a song i've heard before but know best as the current radio hit performed by sergio mendez and the black eyed peas. i didn't recognise any of the other songs or the instrumentals played, though one of my friends mentioned that some of them are well-known jazz standards.

that kinda made me feel a little silly. what on earth was i doing there at no black tie, where the only alcoholic beverage a student can afford is either beer (yuck) or a glass of sangria (or two, heh)? i mean, the place was gorgeous. the music was lovely. and the decor, oh the decor! it was posh. there's no other word for it. as posh as a pre-wags victoria adams (i grew up in the 90s, so shoot me).

but i didn't have a clue about how fab the arrangements were, or whether the fact that the double bassist's fingers were flying around madly was an indication of his skill, neither did i manage to really catch the subtle signs of how each musician gave each other a chance to take the lead and wow the audience with his solo excellence. and i liked irene soliano's voice although my friends didn't.

so really. i felt like how alot of people feel when they talk about the art scene: awkward, as if i didn't really deserve to find the music delightful because i couldn't afford a third glass of sangria and did not have the ability to say "oh, i love this song" the moment an intro was played.

anyway, i love art. i enjoy looking at photographed portraits, funky poster prints and postsecret postcards. when i go for the occassional mpo performance, i like happy tunes with lots of brass. i can't go for too many theatre performances because after a while, all the interpreting of metaphors overwhelms my actually very simple mind.

what looks nice to me is nice. what sounds nice to me is nice. and i believe that's how most people see art as - something that is...nice. it's nice. it brightens life up a bit. that's all. i don't think you should ever be like me and have the impression that you have to be rich or a literature student in order to enjoy art.

but that's the kind of message i keep getting. i sure as hell ain't ready for posh, and it makes me a little, i dunno, upset that that's the one and only thing really preventing me from indulging a little more in something that i love.

lishun at 2:48 PM

Saturday, July 08, 2006

another short one

i'm 21. i should be well aware, or at least three-quarters aware, of how the world really works. i should not be so naive, neither should i be disillusioned. i know what is expected of me, i know reality is not pretty and i know life is unfair.

i also know that even if i end up being appointed the secretary-general of the united nations, there will still be appalling poverty levels everywhere, there will still be people dying unnoticed in the streets in india and england will still not win the world cup.

i'm a realist when it comes to all that.

however, i still believe in doing what you love if you have the means to do it. i believe in fighting for what you are passionate about and doing everything you can to achieve it if you have the necessary support.

the fact that i still have "if"s in the previous sentences means that i am very much grounded in whatever the world tells me, but at the same time, i believe it's very possible to correct your mistakes, make a fresh start and pursue something you will enjoy and put all your effort into because it is what you believe in.

so don't say that i'm not being realistic, because i am being realistic. you gotta do what is necessary to ensure you don't live out the rest of your life in regret.

lishun at 2:41 PM

Wednesday, July 05, 2006

soap opera on the pitch

the world cup is the soap opera of football.

1. you can't really predict what's going to happen - unless you're a bank (nevermind they got everything else wrong) and even then, they could be - good gawd spare my weak heart - wrong.

2. the most unlikely people will screw each other (roo and ron, anyone?).

3. the villains are always dressed in black (no prizes here).

4. characters change personalities and then you don't know who to root for anymore.

5. they always end with tears.

so italy beat germany 2-0. kinda deservedly too, judging by the 45mins i watched (15mins regulation time, 30mins extra time). feel a little sorry for klinsmann's men; it's supposed to be their year.

but it's a soap opera where dead people come alive, missing people suddenly appear younger and loaded with new sex appeal, heroes slip away and, as the seasons progress, you find yourself not knowing what to think and not really caring anymore.

contrast that to the very predictable football leagues in europe and you'll see why, despite all the moaning and the groaning and complaining and whatnot, people still love the world cup. because you can open the newspaper every morning for a month and get a shock. plus the wise-mouths find their voices most often during the world cup season, so the "real" fans can have a go at 'em off league season.

anyway, it's late (early?). i have to be at jinjang in 3 hours. i had no intention of watching the match but my parents, bless 'em, woke me up at 430am because they thought i'd like to watch a bit anyway.

so, erm, "forza italia"? or "go portugal"? or "viva les bleus"? i dunno. i stopped rooting for anyone the moment the brazilians underwent a lobotomy.

lishun at 5:36 AM

Tuesday, July 04, 2006

lishun gets a root canal, parts 2&3

you know you're a hopeless blogger when you've got a dentist drilling your teeth with goodness-knows-what and putting strips of whatchamacallit into your clean, empty root canals (yes all freaking four of 'em) and all you can think of is "damn, i didn't bring my camera. this would be good blog material."

o_O"

anyway, am highly apologetic for not blogging about phase two of lishun's root canal, but that was because it was really boring. as in literally, it was bore-ing. the dentist bore and bore into the canals of my first-molar-on-the-bottom-right-jaw to remove whatever's left of the stuff that kept my tooth alive, filled it up again with the foul-tasting calcium...stuff, and sent me home.

in 20 minutes.

i love this dentist. she doesn't believe in prolonging my distress and, as the students of imu learnt yesterday, "every patient is in distress; it's up to you to detect it." wise words indeed. i was in alot of distress and hardly winced.

well, ok fine i did wince during the second treatment. you see, when the roots of your teeth are clean, it only makes sense that the hole at the bottom of the canal, where your formerly alive nerves and blood vessels crawled into the tooth, actually leads to your gums. and your gums are usually very much alive, laden with pain receptors that are ever ready to make you wish you were dead should they ever get stimulated.

the freaking dentist i just praised a moment ago prodded and poked with this small, sharp, scary file thingamajig into one of the canals, poked my gums and sent a sharp, excruciating pain (hah, characteristic and quality of pain!) through my brain.

all the dentist did was nod her head and say, "yes, there is a sharp pain when i hit your gums." i was thinking, "bloody hell...first you don't tell me that there's gonna be pain, then you tell me that you knew you were gonna hit my gums?! don't freaking hit my gums then!!!" and i'd have said it too if i didn't have a small, sharp, scary file thingamajig sticking in my mouth at the time.

bleh.

ok otherwise it went well without much event.

yesterday was my final consultation for the root canal. the dentist was supposed to fill the canals and shape me a new, permanent 1/4 of a molar to cover up the gaping hole that was there 2 weeks ago. this time it wasn't so bore-ing, although she unbelievably poked that file thing down my root canals again, and i was out of the office half an hour later.

yesterday's procedures involved inserting strips of harder material (previously my teeth were dressed with strips of paper dipped in antiseptic - talk about simplicity) into the vacant canals and the moulding a hard filling into my tooth.

the moulding was weird. the dentist first inserted this big metal thing that kept my mouth open - dentists are so totally the descendants of torturers from the middle ages - and then scraped filling onto my tooth, shaped it, and then hardened it by using what looked like a mini hairdryer with a bent nozzle. it emitted, erm, blue light.

seriously. i had a hairdryer shining light in the most beautiful shade of blue i've seen into my oral cavity. it was...interesting.

well apparently the blue light causes the filling to harden and smoothen into an enamel-like material and the irritatingly smooth stuff is now sitting in my mouth. it feels like there's a constant layer of mucous on it and it disturbs me everytime i run my tongue down my teeth. like algae's growing there. or some commensal has turned pathogenic. or something along those lines.

ooooooookay.

the conclusion is that lishun's root canal is done (yay!) but it feels kinda weird (boo!) although she's really happy that she doesn't have to see the dentist for the next 3-6 months (yay!) unless of course the filling, which exudes foul-tasting calcium-like stuff when she bites on it, decides to malfunction (boo!).

ok. the end. i need to go back to differentiating infective endocarditis and rheumatic fever. bye.

lishun at 8:18 AM

Saturday, July 01, 2006

i'm just curious...

...would you go out with someone who/m:

(a) you don't know very well but you've "seen him/her around"?

(b) you don't find very attractive but think he/she is not repulsive?

(c) worked up the guts to ask you out?

no alcohol involved, of course.

well? would you? honestly. no model answers here.

would you?

lishun at 6:51 PM