Wednesday, March 26, 2008

no debts

no one owes you anything. if there's something that i've really learnt from the few years i've been on this earth, it is that no one owes me anything.

you're not obliged to compliment or thank me everytime i do something good. it's not your duty to relay information to me unless you are directly accountable to me. there is no such thing as "you MUST help me because you're my friend/sister/cousin/husband." no one owes you an explanation, a word of encouragement, a lending hand.

they're all choices. you may say that we have a responsibility to be good to one another, treat everyone equally, and give respect where it's due. but there is always the choice not to, and the sinner in each one of us will sometimes take that option, whether consciously or subconsciously.

even in a marriage, it is the choice of both the husband and the wife to stay together, to work on their relationship, to have children, to take care of the family. so many people decide not to. even the covenant of marriage isn't an obligation. neither is it a matter of emotional debt.

most importantly, you cannot make others choose to acknowledge you all the time. it is their choice to make, whether their decisions are based on God's word or the world's views, and there isn't anything you can do to intervene.

however, having said all that, there is something i can do for myself in the face of all this. i can choose to be responsible for my own actions. i can fulfill my duty as a sister, daughter, friend and be considerate towards the people i care about and remember to give acknowledgment where it is warranted to be given.

finally, i can choose to not blame others for their shortcomings. i can choose not to impose my expectations on them and instead concentrate on doing my part.

this doesn't mean i don't get irritated when i feel as though someone owes me an explanation or a word of praise or just some indication that my efforts are noticed. but it does mean i am spared a whole lot of bitterness and anger and sadness. it means i write one less emo poem and make one less ranty phone call.

it means i am just that little more mature.

lishun at 7:10 AM