Tuesday, March 15, 2005

stuck

i just suddenly feel so stagnant. there is no other word for it.

it's not boredom: i have plans and errands and tonnes of things to do.

it's not depression: i have so many reasons to be happy, and i am.

it's not ungratefulness: there has never been a time when i am more thankful.

here i am, surrounded by smiles and proud looks on the faces of people i love and who love me. it is all great, and i don't want to be anywhere else.

but i feel so stuck.

the smiles are the same ones i've seen since forever. i can identify every gapped grin, every shiny tooth, every curl of the lip. i know the meanings behind every pair of sparkling eyes and can pick up the subtle messages hidden in each gesture.

i just feel like i need to get away from this familiarity. i need to meet new people. to climb out of my stagnant yet thriving pool. somehow it is all suffocating me.

last friday, a friend told another that he needed to "move on" from an aspect of his life.

tonight, i feel as if i need to move on from something too. i just wish i knew what it is.

lishun at 10:08 PM

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