Wednesday, April 29, 2009

both my eyes

"didn't have a camera by my side this time
hoping i would see the world with both my eyes
maybe i will tell you all about it when i'm in the mood to lose my way
but let me say
you should have seen that sunrise with your own eyes
it brought me back to life
you'll be with me next time i go outside
no more 3X5

guess you had to be there
guess you had to be with me"
- from "3X5" by john mayer

li ao, a famous taiwanese writer, social commentator, historian, and independent politician who is also known for his narcissistic ways, once proclaimed proudly that there's no need for him to travel because watching documentaries and looking at photographs of places abroad from the comfort of his own home is good enough.

he said that in response to statements that he'd never been on an aeroplane before.

well, he finally did hop on a plane somewhere i can't remember where, and he had to eat his words because nothing beats seeing the world with your own two eyes.

there are postcards from slovenia, spain, switzerland and london on the noticeboard above my table. there's another two - one from tanzania and another from barcelona - on the "tree" next to my bed. i treasure those postcards not just because they're from my friends, but also because they remind me of what i'm missing by being stuck here in boleh-land.

i'm stuck here because of my own doing. i don't have anyone but myself to blame. it's the source of many whiny nights and self-pity parties, but also a little motivation to get out of here one day. see the world with both my eyes, be immersed in a culture completely different from mine, get epiphanies on the edge of a canyon, watch snow melt in my hands, return a changed person.


i'm gonna keep daydreaming...while attempting to study...sigh.

lishun at 5:38 PM