Saturday, July 07, 2007

where is God?

"why are you studying medicine or pharmacy?
what do you want to achieve as a doctor or pharmacist?
what are you passionate or interested in?
what is the difference between a vocation (calling) and duty?
in what area will you specialise? why?
where do you intend to practice?
where is God in making all these decisions?"
- notes from dr.hera's talk at cf

i have asked myself these questions before. i know why i chose medicine. i want to live my life serving others. i'm passionate about finding out why people think or feel the way they do. a calling is something higher than duty. i think i'll specialise in psychiatry because it seems like i'm being led that way. i have a funny feeling i'll end up in east malaysia.

but where was God when i was pondering over those things? where is God now even as i continue to struggle to decide where and how i am going to continue my post-graduate studies? did i ask Him when i thought about taking usmle, specialising in psychiatry, practicing in sabah/sarawak? or did i consider those options based on my worldly knowledge, my friends' banter or simply my fickle, naive heart?

it's only natural to want the best for myself and my family, but what about what God thinks is best? shouldn't that be more important?

dr.hera has certainly achieved her objective to get us thinking about the future and where God really stands in our decision-making, in my decision-making. my plans seem so shaky now because they're built on the wrong foundation, laid down without being given the green light by God. yet i am secure that whatever plans He has, they will do me more good than my own plans ever will.

where is God in your decisions?

lishun at 1:24 PM