Sunday, November 04, 2007


"they say they're obvious...yeah, obviously NOT INTERESTED."

in a way, i'm glad they're obvious. it means i don't have to keep guessing or even entertain the notion that they're complicated. i'm done with all that anyway. i have better things to do.

on the other hand, it just kills every "maybe" or "what if" that could probably inject an element of...something other than this dreariness.

still, being spared the constant analysing of every action is a far greater reprieve than any cycle of raised-and-crushed expectations. i am ever thankful for the revelation that they're obvious...even if it means that they're obviously not interested.

as i said before, it's not easy to keep resetting my mind to the approved standards, to recall the relevant evidence that proves i have absolutely no need to even think about these things, and pray that it will be forever cemented in my mind. especially when i do still think about it and i have to resist the temptation to ask "why?".

it's true when it is said that things only become difficult when we approach them like thinking adults and not as innocent children who see things as they are and are not afraid to say so, to ask earnestly and express what they think. even when things are obvious, i make them blurred and complicated.

sigh. i guess it's only obvious that i need to stop thinking and just go into a robotic stupor to do what needs to be done and say what needs to be said.

lishun at 4:48 PM