Friday, December 26, 2003

restless in kl

i am friggin' restless. i constantly feel like ripping my hair out and kicking everything in sight. i can't sleep because my heart is pounding uncontrollably. i can't breathe because it feels as though something is choking me.

i know why i am feeling like this. the train that will take me back to singapore leaves at 9:50pm on sunday, 28th december. i will be on my way back down south in less than 48 hours. back to the place where i least want to be right now.

this afternoon, as i lay on my bed - a restless spirit in a tired soul - unable to sleep, i asked God to take me from this earth right now. take me away, leave the empty shell of my body...anything to escape the torture i am going through at the moment.

that request scared me, and i thought how could i have ever made it in the first place. after all, the very thing causing this restlessness is the fear of being far away from my family. so how could i have thought about leaving them forever?

i am so troubled by this trip back to singapore. i really wish i knew exactly why.

sigh.

am a little bit consoled by the fact that man utd did go top before christmas, and now that chelsea crashed out to charlton, man utd can stay top provided they kill off everton.

seems rather inappropriate to bring in football, but somehow at the moment of typing, it made complete sense.

aargh...i need to get this horrid feeling out of my system!

lishun at 11:16 PM

|