Friday, January 14, 2005

before i die...

i was watching oprah two days ago (amazing how many of my entries are inspired by that woman!) and it was a show about taking risks, overcoming fears, and living a life of adventure.

i looked at my life in despair. how many times have i let go of a chance to let go of myself, and just have pure fun? i've always blamed my parents for my accelerated maturation (like a fruit), and for stealing my childhood away from me by teaching me the ways of the world too soon. as a result of that, i've always played safe, rejecting almost every notion of fun as dangerous or "simply not practical".

oprah got me thinking. what am i holding back for? i am, after all, only 19, and in good health too. so what am i holding back for?

i do long for a life of adventure. the thought of spending my youth within 4 walls scares me. and yet i am always making excuses for myself for not participating in the activities that my friends engage themselves in. things like OBS, rock-climbing, hiking...just being in the outdoors and perhaps putting myself in a tiny bit of danger. i love all that. or rather, i love the thought of all that. but i haven't done any of it.

so, i've decided to list down a few things that i will do before i die. they're all do-able, all "safe"...things that i will regret not doing while i am able to do so.

1. bungee jump (*gulp* am afraid of heights)
2. abseil down a waterfall
3. scuba dive
4. kayak
5. eat haggis (odd, i know, but am just darn curious)
6. backpack across the US
7. skydive (double *gulp*)
8. touch a live tiger
9. watch an erupting volcano
10. ski

i guess these things are not what some may call "adventurous", but i sure hope i can accomplish all of them before i die. when i was thinking about this whole thing about adventure and whatnot, i know i cannot possibly do any of those things alone. my "practical" mind would stop me right in my tracks.

and that just makes me kinda...sad because i can't think of anyone who would readily come and hold my hand while i take the leap of faith into the unexplored territory of a life of adventure.

anyway, wish me luck in accomplishing every item on my list.

lishun at 9:54 AM

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