Friday, May 26, 2006

bits 'n' pieces

i love the fact that it's possible to have an inter-religious forum in my university and not have people come in with permanent mindsets. granted, the topic of discussion was very safe (you can't get controversial with something like "women in the eyes of religion"), but the very idea of being able to share the different views of different religions without the fear of offending anyone...it's as close to utopia as anyone can get.

anyway, i found the discussion a little bland, thanks to the safe topic, but it was interesting to note that the students attending the forum were there not to argue but to learn and reason in a mature manner, and that's what impressed me most.

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being in a university means that everyone around you is either just as good as you or better...there really isn't anyone that's worse.

of course, you could very well argue like my fellow pbl group member said: if people are either as good as you or better, it would mean that you would be worse than someone and that implies that there are people who have other people who are worse than them.

but that's not what i mean. i'm just trying to say that there is no such thing as a "bad" student in university, especially not in the medical faculty. no one cheated their way in...if they did, they wouldn't survive. there isn't anyone who has an unimpressive curriculum vitae. i have yet to meet anyone in imu that doesn't deserve to be where they are today.

and that's as humbling a thought as any thought can be.

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i don't know about you, but i think there is something seriously nice about being infatuated with someone, regardless of the "depth" of it. perhaps it's the anticipation and the knowledge deep down inside that nothing's going to come out of it simply because you don't have mutual friends or that you don't have any excuse to spend time together and get to know one another. somehow that fatalistic attitude just makes it all the more silly and exhillarating at the same time.

there's nothing more...uplifting than being midly infatuated with someone. it serves just the right amount of electricity to keep you awake during the day, and enough distraction to keep the mind from getting too worn out. it's nice. it's just kinda nice.

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when i was in secondary school, i used to blame my parents for forcing me to grow up just that little faster than my peers.

but just what is "growing up" anyway? when can you consider yourself to be "grown up"? at what age should we be feeling our age, and who on earth dictates the level of maturity needed at a certain age? can it even be quantified?

now i feel that growing up is a whole load of rubbish. i highly doubt that there will be a day when i look in the mirror, at age 52, and decide that yes, i am finally acting like a 52-year-old should. now that i can see my parents as people and not just my parents, i realise that although they're in the autumn of their lives, never once has it ever crossed their minds that they're in their 60s and should be doing stuff designed for senior citizens. they can still be 20 in their heads, or even 70+, but it's all in their minds.

so maybe i don't find cartoons funny anymore, or i roll my eyes at the kind of music "kids" listen to these days. perhaps i sometimes feel a little old when i realise that england's youngest national footballer will always be 16 while i will never always be just one year older than him.

but am i "grown up"? who are you to tell me when i'm a "grown up"?

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having been a prefect most of my life and in the position of role model (for cousins, friends, my students) in between, there really hasn't been many opportunities for me to be rebellious.

sometimes i feel jealous when i hear stories of friends going through a stage where they defied every one of their parents' commands - sneaking a swig of vodka during christmas, getting a nose/belly button/eyebrow piercing, spending time with a forbidden girl/boyfriend, or driving the car without a license.

i've been caged in by invisible rules and whispering voices from my conscience, so much so that i can only recall 2 instances in which i have consciously gone against my parents' desires: the first in primary school, when i ponteng pol mandarin class and got caught; and the second after pmr, when i got myself a second ear piercing without consent. i can remember my mother's exact reply to the second incident (for the first, she didn't talk - she just reached for the cane): "you will get tired of it in a couple of years or so."

needless to say, i got tired of having to wear two pairs of earrings all the time and decided to let the second piercing close up on its own two years ago.

that basically says it all, really.

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...to end it all, a couple of congratulations...

to hailiang, prasad and yihseong, for finishing as the highest ranking debate team from malaysia at the audc. phwoar. power sial.

to the cast and crew of "the phantom of the opera", for an entertaining performance tonight.

to the vast number of people who "got together" this week and those that will be "getting together soon".

and, last but not least, to everyone who managed to live through the week without making fun of any of their friends. it's hard, i know.

=)

lishun at 11:08 PM

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