Sunday, July 08, 2007

impatience

i simplify my desires more and more each day in the hopes that someone, somewhere, will be able to fulfill them. there are times when the promises just aren't enough, when the minutes don't move fast enough and eternity is so far away. at the rate my murmuring is growing, i'm already at the edge of 40 years of wilderness.

impatience is my worst quality. that's probably the reason for a need to have my patience tested all the time. the frustration of anticipating and hoping and trusting thrives on the fertile ground of my restless nature. there is a cry within me for the waiting to end.

i know He hears me, but that sometimes simply isn't enough.

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i wonder if He looks at me and shakes His head, dismayed at a child who has matured but not quite enough, putting obstacles in her own path, sabotaging the relationship that was so painstakingly built - all because she couldn't wait.

lishun at 2:20 PM

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