Friday, November 18, 2005

stock values

when i was in singapore, my friends and i used to joke about guys' "stock values" - it's a measure of their boyfriend-potential and naturally the higher the values, the more desirable they would be.

one of the guys in my so-called clique rated really highly on the girls' "stock market" because he would accompany us grocery shopping and carry all our bags. he opened doors, abstained from swearing in front of us...in other words he was a gentleman. and that scored him alot of points.

anyway, a couple of days ago, my friends from imu were talking about the electives we were going to pursue during our semester break next year. i chose journalism, naturally, while some others decided to venture into art, pick up a new instrument, or learn mandarin (the number of non-mandarin-speaking chinese in imu is quite, err, shocking).

one of the guys, however, enrolled for ballroom dancing lessons.

it's always a big plus when guys can dance - you know, the whole "if he can work it on the dancefloor, he can work it in...other areas" thingamajig - so when he told me that, i grinned at him and said, "that will really boost your stock values!"

at which he replied, "you know, if girls knew how to cook, their stock values would go up too."

darn. i can neither dance nor cook. i can almost see my stock values plummeting way way way down, below the floor, into the soil and right into the molten core of the earth.

some of my secondary school friends would remember the times when i was in guides. we danced every year for the stepping down ceremonies and, as a result, it earned us the title of "singing and dancing guides" from a senior scout (bleh). you'd think that with so much practice i should be a pretty decent dancer right?

erm...no.

last year, during the asean seniors' night, i ended my reign as "wallflower queen" and actually got asked to dance by two of my juniors. the first guy is an excellent dancer. i've seen him dance, and he's really good. so i felt a bit...paiseh cuz of my inferior dancing skills. but then, it was just moving around in a square right?

wrong! i think i stepped on his feet like 4 or 5 times throughout the 4 or 5 songs we danced to. eek. he was really nice about it, but he flinched really hard every time i landed my heels on his toes. gah. so embarrassing.

the second guy was luckier. i only stepped on his toes once. but then, we only danced for one song, so actually the rate of occurence is the same. gah.

you'd think stepping on two unfortunate guys' toes in one night would deter me from dancing, but nooooooo. stubborn me signed up for the imu dance society, and am currently learning a fast-tempo, super-energetic hip hop dance. while everyone was moving smoothly to the beats of corny j-pop-techno in the last class, i was busy trying to make sure my arms weren't smacking anyone in the face.

sigh.

cooking is another sad sad story.

the first time i cooked something other maggi mee was in form 1, when the girls were introduced to the kitchen for the first time in our home ec classes. our first assignment was to cook fried meehoon.

i ended up with a mass of black stringy stuff that tasted not too bad, actually. i took some of it home to show off to my mother, and she literally ran away. so much for home social support. no wonder i'm stressed.

i didn't cook much after that. over the years though, i learnt to perfect the cheese omelette (it's all in the milk) and can cook a pretty mean mixed veggie soup if i can say so myself.

then, when i was 16, my mother took a one-month vacation to the states, leaving me with the affairs of the house. i didn't mind doing the cleaning and washing (been doing it for ages anyway) but i was mortified at the prospect of having to cook for my dad and sis.

the only veggie i could stir fry without making it turn brown was leafy stuff like cabbage, so my poor dad and sis had to have cabbage nearly every day for a month. plus since veggie soup was what i cooked best, they had that for a month too.

the other dishes i cooked only involved eggs (eggs saved my life, really!), mushrooms, and chicken. but there's only so often i could cook steamed egg with minced pork in a week, right?

we ate out alot that month. haha.

so what exactly is the value of my "stock"? if women were seriously only judged by our cooking abilities, i think alot of us would have been declared bankrupt a long time ago.

i think the best thing for me to do is take a cue from jules, jamie oliver's wife, and marry a chef. that way, no one would care whether you could cook or not. the important thing is your husband can.

but the question remains...would a chef marry someone with two left feet?!

lishun at 11:11 AM

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