Friday, April 14, 2006

how can it be?

i was driving home tonight, zoning out the way most drivers do when they take the same route everyday, when it suddenly hit me that it's good friday.

it's been good friday for 21 hours and i only realised it 20 minutes ago.

i prayed during the cf camp comm meeting this afternoon and i didn't remember that it's good friday. i read the bible before i started studying this evening and it didn't occur to me that it's good friday. i heard carrie underwood's "Jesus take the wheel" on my way home and it was only right before i took the turn into my neighbourhood that it hit me.

it's good friday. Jesus died today almost 2000 years ago. because of His blood, my sins are forgiven. i can have a relationship with God because His Son paid the price of death for me.

it was pretty overwhelming. i mean, i know the whole's basic sunday school stuff (not that i've ever been to sunday school but yeah), but it's hard to fathom the greatness and awesomeness of God until you feel it.

just this morning, i received an email from a good friend who wrote, "i guess now i worship God not because of what He has done for me, but because He is really awesome," and i wrote back saying that i'm at a low in my spiritual life at the moment and can't relate enough to be "blown away by that revelation" the way she described.

but just now, on the way home, i was blown away. i choked at the wheel and had to stop myself from just breaking down in tears because i didn't want my parents to think there was anything wrong with me.

i'm ashamed to have been so caught up with everything to even forget that it's good friday. i've been on the verge of exploding into a full whining session for the last two weeks simply because i let the mediocre things of the world overwhelm me, when really it should be God who overwhelms me each day.

it should be that way, but it isn't, and i can't even begin to describe how sorry i am for that.


i'm forgiven because You're forsaken
i'm accepted, You were condemned
i'm alive and well, Your spirit is within me
because You died and rose again

amazing love, how can it be?
that You my king would die for me?
amazing love, i know it's true
now it's my joy to honour You

in all i do
i honour You

You are my king
Jesus, You are my king

lishun at 9:42 PM