Monday, August 30, 2004

plugged-in bliss

i thought about this on a bus ride back from tuition.

almost everyone on the bus is plugged into his or her own world. people are listening to music from the radio, mp3 player, discman, md player...they're all caught up with the stimuli tickling their auditory nerves. those impulses jolting the brain, eventually reduced to comfortable pricks in an attempt to ignore everyone else.

if not locked into the world of music, their eyes are glued to the pages of a book. the woman in front of me is engrossed with ancient chinese palmistry, while the man next to her is reading good omens, by terry pratchett and another author with a forgettable name. they devour the words almost greedily, oblivious to the environment. or is that a willful ignorance?

those who lack the technology or the literature seem to be preoccupied nevertheless. their eyes are glazed over with their own thoughts, lost in their imagination. even i, who is conscious of all this, am aware of my own gradual disconnection. it's as if by acknowledging what is going on around me, i too am drawn into a world separate from the one i live in.

and so they continue in this neither here nor there state, until a familiar sight catches the corner of their eyes. you can see that jolt of recognition in their eyes, consciousness suddenly emerging from the depths of their minds. the glaze turns to matt as they curl their fingers around the bell, signalling their stop.

as the people step off the bus, i see their eyes grow shiny once more, not with the glaze of self-absorbance, but as if their pupils are coated with the oil of reality, a rancid layer of horrible truths. it is no longer the bliss of being in one's own dimension, but the realisation that this is what it means to be "back".

i pondered upon this once i got back to the hostel. i wondered about the nature of this slick. what is it? is it guilt, knowing that we were being selfish for closing off the world around us? that sin of focussing on oneself and not on any other? if not...then what?

i do know, however, that the glaze in the eyes of these people while half-listening to their music, while reading their books, while lost in their imaginations...THAT is probably the closest we can ever come to true joy. it is an indulgence we can't afford to have, an ability some have lost. but that curling into oneself, that connecting with the very being we hide inside...that is bliss.

lishun at 12:17 PM

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