Saturday, August 26, 2006


these are the things i miss:

having the lights switched on at 6am because she needed to dress.

holding her hand when she walked up stairs.

eating the delicious glutinous rice dumplings she made every year (no RM3 meat-stuffed dumpling can ever compare to those).

getting impatient when her semi-deaf ears could not hear what i wanted to tell her.

giving her a kiss on her birthday.

having a laugh when i realised how ridiculous it was that we were like a chicken and a duck conversing to once another (she spoke hokkien, i spoke mandarin - we understood each other perfectly).

hearing her complain when there were no veg or fruit in the fridge.

watching her face light up when i brought home grapes for her.

smelling the scent of her talcum powder lingering in my room.

complimenting her on her new hairdo when she got home from the hairdresser's.

hearing the rumbling sound of the sewing machine as she pieced together yet another blanket, another bathroom mat, another cushion cover.

seeing the semi-smile on her lips when i took the few photos i have of her.


these are the things i don't miss:

being stuck between the past and present because she left my house so many years ago and only came home to die.

not feeling her absence but pining for her all the same.

seeing the last photograph i took of her on my bedroom table and not being able to smile.


i love you ah mah. i can't believe it's been more than a year.

lishun at 8:12 AM