Tuesday, August 22, 2006


we give ourselves waaaaaaay too much credit. malaysians call this being "perasan".

i'm guilty of it too.

i often find myself apologising to people for sarcastic comments i made earlier in the day, thinking that i may have hurt their feelings when really, they don't even remember me saying anything to them.

in college, i had some hard times dealing with my friends because i thought that every slight sideways glance meant they were bitching about how insensitive i was to them or how much they disliked me.

when the realisation came, it was hard to accept that things were not about me. i didn't affect people's moods as much as i thought i did. when people gossiped, most of the time they weren't gossiping about me. people seriously had much better things to do and less petty issues to worry about than to think about what i said or did.

the reason why people do certain things or feel certain ways is because of...themselves, really.

i was very ashamed when the truth finally sank in a couple of years ago. it was what made me stop whining as much as i did in secondary school and it was what made me feel just that little less apprehensive around people than i used to be. even then, i felt that the revelation came much too late because really...the years of bitterness and suspicion i carried around were just not worth it. i could have had a much better time and made more friends.

so it surprises me that there are people, well into the first third of their lives, who still think that it's all about them. these are people that we trust to know better, people we hope are wiser than us, people who are leading us...and they still think that it's about them.

well wake up. it's not about you. it never was, it still isn't, and it never will be.

lishun at 11:33 PM