Saturday, September 23, 2006

everyone else

"playing by the rules makes everyone else happy"
- kalvin, from "house" #207


it's nice and it's safe to play by the rules. be good. be nice. make sure everyone likes you and find you a lovely, pleasant person to be with. don't make mistakes, don't cross the line, don't screw up.

it makes everyone happy, so it should make you happy, no?

not if you know that deep down inside you are kinda mean and loud and obnoxious and politically incorrect because no one is freaking perfect. certainly not you.

so what's the point of putting up a nice front for people to look at and like when really, there are parts of you that want to bitch and swear and offend? is there a reward for self-control? do you get to live a better life by being honest, fair and everything good all the time?

...

sometimes i talk to much. there are times when i get carried away. when i do, please remember that despite all that talk about wanting to be rebellious and stop being the goody-two-shoes i play all the time, the reality is that i do feel happier when other people are happy. and as egoistic as it is, i do feel absolutely terrible when i realise i've been insensitive, regardless whether people were offended or not.

so i'm really sorry, "everyone else". i try my best to play by the rules, no matter how bored i really am doing it. as long as you're happy, it's fine with me.

and that wasn't meant to come across as sarcastic.

lishun at 12:47 AM

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