Friday, October 20, 2006

not brave enough

ask that cute guy out. raise my hand to ask a question. tell them i feel ignored. really fight for what i want. get the hairdresser to listen to me. apply for an internship. volunteer at spca. not hide under my jackets. dance without being self-conscious. be shameless. see the dean and ask for her help. completely make over my room. organise an easter concert in uni. go forward in absolute faith. tell my father i love him. write an article about the orphanages that don't get help. acknowledge my passions and start working on them.

i've played it safe for too long, and yet i just cannot bring myself to take risks. i can't do it alone and it irritates the hell out of me because i am freaking 21 for goodness' sake and i still can't act like the adult i am supposed to be. what happened to being independent enough to make my own decisions and chase my dreams? shouldn't i be complete by now? strong enough? smart enough? mature enough?

and yet i feel as if i could have made that postcard. i didn't, but i sure as hell could have.

lishun at 7:47 PM